Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Little Bit of Change

What changes have you made in your life? That was the first question. I have made a bunch of decisions in my short 25 years of life, some good, some bad. These days I no longer like to make a decision for ANYTHING. If I can avoid it I will, if somebody else is with me on the decision I try to get them to make it. If I don't feel it's right then I change the answer. But I'm learning one day at a time how not to be afraid of making a decision, even it's a good or bad decision I'm learning to not let it bother me. That being said, making a decision is deciding to make a change in your life, they follow one right after the other. And well I guess I don't like change. It scares me to be honest.What is the biggest change you have ever made? Well let's see here....um, I think the biggest change I have ever made in my adult life was to be free from all harm, free from loneliness, and to free my children from seeing all of the horrible stuff that was happening around them. If you have read any of my blogs you know that I was with this guy for a long period of time and was treated very badly and I made the decision to stay there, I would leave and go right back a few days or weeks later and things would be good for the first few days then get ugly it was the cycle that kept going and going. I had 1 still birth/miscarriage, that killed me on the inside, I was already damaged by "him"  he'd kick my butt, then he would "make up"  then the next thing i know I'm the mother of 3 beautiful children. After time and time again of fighting, screaming, pushing, shoving, and one brain surgery I was done. I was about to make the bravest decision in my life....Leaving. Growing up my mother and father were divorced and I had step-fathers and my life was terrible, I didn't want that for my children. I fought with the thought everyday for about a month. Finally, I had enough I packed up all mine and my kids stuff and had my dad meet me to get our stuff and we split. That was the biggest change I made in my life. I spent along time (9 1/2 years) with being treated like a dog, Now we are happier than ever and I love that. It was a change I defiantly made decision to do all on my own.I was asked, How did you face change? I have some really great friends that helped me through it all. My best friend "Bub"  was there for me thru the tears, anger, and sadness. I kept my distance from my husband, moved away, filed for divorce, and moved on with my life with my kids. Its been a little over 2 years and I'm still avoiding everything about"him" Were you angry or happy? From the first day I knew I was totally done with all that. I was emotional for a week or so but after that I was "normal again" I can be ME anytime,anywhere, I can wear what I want, I can talk to who ever I want and I can DO whatever I want. I AM HAPPY!!!! I am ME. and those who know me personally know that's true. If I can do it I believe that ANYone can do it as well. Be Powerful, Be Happy, Be Free, Be YOU!!!
                                                     Peace,Love & HotDogs,
                                                               ~Kim~

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