A Little Bit of Change

What changes have you made in your life? That was the first question. I have made a bunch of decisions in my short 25 years of life, some good, some bad. These days I no longer like to make a decision for ANYTHING. If I can avoid it I will, if somebody else is with me on the decision I try to get them to make it. If I don't feel it's right then I change the answer. But I'm learning one day at a time how not to be afraid of making a decision, even it's a good or bad decision I'm learning to not let it bother me. That being said, making a decision is deciding to make a change in your life, they follow one right after the other. And well I guess I don't like change. It scares me to be honest.What is the biggest change you have ever made? Well let's see here....um, I think the biggest change I have ever made in my adult life was to be free from all harm, free from loneliness, and to free my children from seeing all of the horrible stuff that was happening around them. If you have read any of my blogs you know that I was with this guy for a long period of time and was treated very badly and I made the decision to stay there, I would leave and go right back a few days or weeks later and things would be good for the first few days then get ugly it was the cycle that kept going and going. I had 1 still birth/miscarriage, that killed me on the inside, I was already damaged by "him"  he'd kick my butt, then he would "make up"  then the next thing i know I'm the mother of 3 beautiful children. After time and time again of fighting, screaming, pushing, shoving, and one brain surgery I was done. I was about to make the bravest decision in my life....Leaving. Growing up my mother and father were divorced and I had step-fathers and my life was terrible, I didn't want that for my children. I fought with the thought everyday for about a month. Finally, I had enough I packed up all mine and my kids stuff and had my dad meet me to get our stuff and we split. That was the biggest change I made in my life. I spent along time (9 1/2 years) with being treated like a dog, Now we are happier than ever and I love that. It was a change I defiantly made decision to do all on my own.I was asked, How did you face change? I have some really great friends that helped me through it all. My best friend "Bub"  was there for me thru the tears, anger, and sadness. I kept my distance from my husband, moved away, filed for divorce, and moved on with my life with my kids. Its been a little over 2 years and I'm still avoiding everything about"him" Were you angry or happy? From the first day I knew I was totally done with all that. I was emotional for a week or so but after that I was "normal again" I can be ME anytime,anywhere, I can wear what I want, I can talk to who ever I want and I can DO whatever I want. I AM HAPPY!!!! I am ME. and those who know me personally know that's true. If I can do it I believe that ANYone can do it as well. Be Powerful, Be Happy, Be Free, Be YOU!!!
                                                     Peace,Love & HotDogs,
                                                               ~Kim~

The blog of Blabbing

Wow!! It's been a few weeks since I've posted a blog. I've been doing IC3 (BOOO) I don't really care if I were to ever do it again. (Sorry Sandra) Anyways I figured that I stop for a minute and say Hey Bloggers! and to maybe blog about whats been going on in Kim's world......Well to make a VERY long story a little shorter that the norm. So I finally finished my GED test and passed in February (Yay me!) That was a very stressful week, I was so excited to find out whether I passed or not that my stomach got upset and I had a BAD case of the bubble guts and if you have had them then you'd know that it's awful. Ok then I took in some advise and thought real hard about going to college. Well let me tell you! That was a pain in the back, it was definitely a stretched out process. I went up to the high school to take my Compass Test, Oh how I would have liked to cry. (that thang was hard) Well that told us where I needed to be in my classes that I will have to find and and add to my schedule. This is where it got a little frustrating, I was given the run around and COULDN'T pick out my classes b/c of a little confusion. NOW you can just call me a "full-time FRESHMAN" with the help of Sandra and Charity I got the correct information i needed to be enrolled into college. Now on to that nasty little IC3, I tried that's all I can say.....I just couldn't stay on task, I couldn't even tell ya what happened there. I took the test 3 times and every time I did my score got lower and lower. Kim doesn't like to fail or be told no for that matter. I got aggravated at the thought of doing IC3, Heck I'm beginning to think that it was just me because others around me got through it and passed and now have their certificate. Oh well :( I don't have time to get through it anyways I'll be leaving soon ( I'll miss y'all) I will be graduating from Sandra's class the 5th day of June 2012 its kinda cool because I get to wear a cap and gown and i never got to do that because i played around to much and dropped out of school like a moron.(I'm still kickin myself for that but I'm making up for it now) Aug 20th will be my first day back to school this time as a more mature more focused adult freshman (lol that makes me laugh)Anyways, spring is here and it feels like summer and I'm not a big fan of sweating and the heat makes me feel ill. We have been working our butts off for the past couple weeks trying to get things ready for summertime. This is the busiest time of the year for me with the pool duty, yard work (and my yard is HUGE), camping trips, and family visits. The best thing that's going to happen for me this summer is that I have my first DIVORCE hearing in July (it was a long time coming)  My kids have a week of school left and then they will be out for the summer, i feel bad for my daughter she may not get to do much swimming this summer because she broke her arm at school on Monday ( poor kid) She's got about 6 to 8 weeks of down time and that's going to terrorize me with all the whining and complaining that shes going to do. Ya know....being a mom is a very hard and stressful job. So now with all that being blabbed, I need to update my blogs and start on the next "project" (blog) I bet that if you were bored before you read this, you are 3 times as bored now. I kinda hope you have enjoyed, until next blog.

                                                                   Peace,Love, and Hot Dogs,
                                                                                  ~Kim~

quote

 

  

  

I picked this quote because it is truely real. As for me, I lived a devasting life from the age of 14 to the age of 23. I was put down, slapped, cursed, kicked, verbally abused, and emotionally abused. I was so young and what i thought was in love, but in reality i was just scared. I was put through hell for those 9 years so scared to leave and scared to stay. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sometime around Febuary 2009 i learned that i had to have brain surgery because of all the head trauma I endured in that time. In October 2009 i had my surgery and started my recuperation process. With my close friends and family by  my side come January 2010 my family and I were being asked to leave the Salvation Army apartment that we lived in because our stay was over. When I heard the news that was it I had ENOUGH. I then secretly talked to my family about helping me escape from "him" because i knew that he wouldnt let me go without a fight. I started packing up all mine and my childrens belongings and my dad came and took us away. We then went to live with my aunt who basically raised me and she helped me with what i like to call " my new life and the new me." Today I am more happy than I have ever been ( I think I forgot the feeling) I am proud to say I live far away from him and i know we are safe. I took  this quote and ran with it, I've learned that you cant trust just anybody, that you live and you learn, learn from your OWN mistakes,and that good things can come from bad.

Vacation Time

                 This is a beach in Hawaii. I picked Hawaii as my favorite place to be or go beacuse it just looks so beautiful and peaceful. Although I have never been I would love to go. Just imagine swimming in the fresh clear wave filled ocean, letting the waves wash away all the cares in the world. well atleast for a few moments. Having the bright sun shining off my skin and feeling the soft breeze blow through my dampened hair. And as far as the waterfalls and volcanoes well that would be a sight to see. seeing all the beautiful people and the sight seeing wow i cant wait to maybe one day be able to go here on my vacation. This picture is a perfect setting for a good place to set in the sand and watch the sun go down or even come up.

I Am

I Am

I am happy and laid back
I wonder what people think about me when i walk by
I hear music lots and lots of music
I see beautiful flowers
I want to be fearless and free
I am happy and laid back

I pretend to be tough as nails
I feel the waves of the ocean
I touch the biggest weeping willow tree
I worry about life in general
I cry at the thought of lossing a loved one
I am happy and laid back

I understand you only live once
I say Everything happens for a reason
I dream of being the richest girl in the world in most terms
I try to make the most out of things
I hope my life goes as planned
I am happy and laid back

my first blog post

This is my very first blog i have ever written. Not really sure what a blog is or why we r even doing it but its cool im up for learning new things. Heck before i didnt even know how to turn a computer on and now i do and now im BLOGGING! YAY ME!!